License

# Ghostwheel/personality.pl
# enables a linux box to regularly dent random information and messages
# Copyright (C) 2010 Gert Schepens
#
# This program is free software; you can redistribute it and/or modify
# it under the terms of the GNU Affero General Public License version 3 as
# published by the Free Software Foundation.
#
# For a copy of the GNU General Public License, see <http://www.gnu.org/licenses/

personality.pl

#!/usr/bin/perl
use 5.10.0;
use strict;
use Net::Identica;
use Switch;

require  "settings.pl";
use vars qw($print $dent $IdenticaUser $IdenticaPass);

my $status;
my $sleep;

while (1) {
    &generate;
    print $status . "\n" if ($print);
    &dent() if ($dent);

    $sleep = int(rand(50)) + 30;
    print "taking a nap for the next " . $sleep . " minutes \n";
    sleep ($sleep * 60);
}

# -- Subs --
sub generate() {
    switch ( int(rand(7)) ) {
	case 0 { $status = &temperature(); }
	case 1 { $status = &uptime(); }
	case 2 { $status = &load(); }
	case 3 { $status = &users(); }
	case 4 { $status = &memory();}
	case 5 { $status = &processes();}
	case 6 { $status = &disk();}
	else { $status = ¬hing(); }
    }
}

# -- Text --
# temperature
sub temperature() {
my $temperature = `sensors | grep Temp`;
$temperature =~ s/[\S ]*   //;
$temperature =~ s/  [\S\s]*//;

return "I'm cool, a mere " . $temperature if (int($temperature) <= 50);
return "I'm so Hot Hot Hot (" .$temperature. ")" if (int($temperature) >= 60);
return "I'm feelin peachy at my " . $temperature ;
}

# Uptime
sub uptime() {
my $uptime = `uptime`;
$uptime =~ s/[\s\S]*up //;
$uptime =~ s/,[\s\w]*users[\s\S]*//;
return "I still feel quite perky for being up " . $uptime . " hours.";
}

#memory
sub memory(){
    my $meminfo = `head -n2 /proc/meminfo`;
       # MemTotal:       254708 kB
       # MemFree:          5276 kB

    my ($memtotal, $memfree) = split(/\n/,$meminfo);

    $memtotal =~ s/[\s\S]*   //;
    $memtotal =~ s/ kB[\s\S]*//;

    $memfree =~ s/[\s\S]*   //;
    $memfree =~ s/ kB[\s\S]*//;

    $meminfo = int( ($memfree / $memtotal) * 100);

    return "Gimme stuff to learn! (mem $meminfo%)" if ($meminfo <= 10);
    return "My memory banks are merely $meminfo% filled " if ($meminfo <= 30);
    return "I cant imagine that $meminfo% of memory data is That important" if ($meminfo <= 50);
    return "I'm remembering all sorts of stuffs! (mem $meminfo%)" if ($meminfo <= 70);
    return "I have this huge wad of Knowlege in my head (mem $meminfo%)" if ($meminfo <= 90);
    return "$meminfo%!!! I'm on the top of my memory game!";
}


#load
sub load() {
    my $load = `uptime`;
    $load =~ s/[\s\S]*: //;
    $load =~ s/, [\s\S]*\n//;
    
    return "I'm bored. Only $load load." if ($load <= 0.04);
    return "I've got some things going on.. ($load load)" if ($load <= 0.50);
    return "churning along at $load .." if ($load <= 1.00);
    return "I'm like doing $load - its quite bussy" if ($load <= 10.00);
    return "Damn, $load, its one of thoooose days again" if ($load <= 15.00);
    return "Dont bother me! Im at " . $load . "! I'm so bussy its a miracle Im even posting this!";
}

#users
sub users() {
my $users = `uptime`;
$users =~ s/ users,[\s\S]*//;
$users =~ s/[\s\S]*,  //;

return "I feel so lonely. Why wont anyone login?" if ($users eq 0);
return "One on One - The Classical way!" if ($users eq 1);
return "I can take it! " . $users . " at a time is no challenge!" if ($users <= 4);
return $users . " is like a lil' party :)";
}

# processes
sub processes {
    my $processes = `ps -A | wc -l`;
    $processes =~ s/\n//;

    return "I'm bored! Only " . $processes . " processes :/" if ($processes <= 90);
    return "Good, Good, " . $processes . " processes. I like wrapping my mind around all that!";
}

# disk
sub disk {
    my $disk = `df -h / | grep -o "[0-9]\\+%"`;
    $disk=~ s/\n//;

    return "I feel slim today. Barely $disk on the root" if (int($disk) <= 20);
    return "A mere $disk full - I should get some more :)" if (int($disk) <= 60);
    return "I'm filling up nicely.. at $disk now" if (int($disk) <= 90);
    return "$disk full.. I should really start doing something about that";
}

sub nothing() {
    my $status;
    switch ( int(rand(6)) ) {
	case 0 { $status = "I see pretty colors!"; }
	case 1 { $status = "A visit from Dr Gonzo, brb!"; }
	case 2 { $status = "My head hurts .. but its ok"; }
	case 3 { $status = "Isnt Futurama like So COOL? " . `curl -Is slashdot.org | egrep '^X-(F|B)' | cut -d \- -f 2`; }
	case 4 { 
	    $status = "I'm listening to http://www.StuBru.be";
	    my $song = `curl http://internetradio.vrt.be/internetradio_master/productiesysteem2/song_noa/noa_41.xml`;
	    my $artist = $song;
	    $artist =~ s/<\/artistname>[\s\S]*//;
	    $artist =~ s/[\s\S]*<artistname>//;
	    $song =~ s/<\/titlename>[\s\S]*//;
	    $song =~ s/[\s\S]*<titlename>//;
	    $status = "I'm listening to $song by $artist on http://www.StuBru.be" if ($artist);
	}
	else { $status = "Im too depressed to dent"; }
    }
    return $status;
}


# -- Output --
sub dent {

my $identica = Net::Identica->new(username => $IdenticaUser, password => $IdenticaPass);
if ($identica->update($status)) {
    print "Identica post succeeded";
}
else {
    print "Identica post failed :(";
}
print "\n";
}

settings.pl

# Settings perl file
$print = 1;
$dent = 1;
$IdenticaUser = '';
$IdenticaPass = '';